Twenty

Today a client sent an email to a senior coworker complaining that the profile I'd written them was "very weak". First time for everything. But then, I'm not surprised given how I'd been really sloppy with these guys. And I can't bring myself to care. The first sign of disaster. I've also been letting other deadlines and tasks slide; not a smart move if I don't want to ruin the trust and reputation I've made for myself, but I seriously, seriously can't bring myself to care. There's no panic, no anxiety, no gut-wrenching urge to "fix it" and control the damage. What does that mean?

I need a vacation. A long, preferably permanent, paid vacation. So sick and tired of working.

The only highlight is that the flat mate is still with me because she's too fugly and psychotic to be loved by anyone else. As my 5-year-old niece put it the other day: "She's a nice cat, but she's like a killer or something." I think she was just minding my feelings with the "nice" bit.

Eight

Exhaustion. Tired without having done anything strenuous. The worst kind of tired you can get. Just empty, soul crushing enervation, wrung out and dried to a husk. And today was a good day, eh? Light workload, mostly meetings with pleasant clients, left the office on time and everything. Even went to check on my properly-recovering future flat mate (cat), and spent quality time with my mother and little sister.

And yet, I'm ex-haust-ted.

Could be the lack of slash fiction, or the barely mentionable gaming time I've been allowing myself. Trying to be a productive human being. And I have been, but all this productivity is catching up to me, and with nothing but blogging, going through others' blogs and reading 'The Power of Six' (a teeny adventure book, to my slight shame) to sustain me, my ability to absorb the stress of dealing with real life shit is nearing the danger zone.

I need to binge and vegetate and just be completely and utterly useless for 2+ days. Not see anyone. Maybe after I've fixed my new internet USB's issues. The thing's software keeps messing with my laptop's start up and shutdown process, AND it doesn't always connect. Soon, hopefully.

Horror, just found and killed my first cockroach, I feel itchy all over. I'm going to dream of this all night, need to buy more pesticide. Where the hell did it come in from?